Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
