You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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