Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
