I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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