And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
