so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
