i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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