i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
