We named our party play list daddy issues
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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