i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
