i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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