worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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