You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
