I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
