What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
