Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
