Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
