I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Damn victory sex feels great
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
