So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
