Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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