you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
