just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.