a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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