I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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