is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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