You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
