Who did Billy Mays play for?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
