booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
