I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
this hospital has no fireball
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
