I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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