So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
