Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
