Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
