I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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