I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
