All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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