If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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