Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
