that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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