So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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