im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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