Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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