I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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