Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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