Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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