rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
