You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
