I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
