It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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