is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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