Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
