dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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