glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
