I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
