I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
jump out the window naked night went bad
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize