You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
