Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
