What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
