Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
