don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's never too late to be topless.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
