I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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