i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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