i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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