I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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