yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize