This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
