i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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